R-Rated Coffee Milkshake Part II

So one day a week or so ago I had to have a coffee milkshake.  Since I've had one, of course, but on that particular day, my necessity was accompanied by and overwhelming lack of motivation.  I decided not only did I not want to pay for the ingredients necessary, but I also had no desire to move from the kitchen table.  So, we did a little bar tending, and created this fantastic after dinner dessert drink.  Enjoy part two of the R-rated coffee milkshake saga.


what you need...
3 oz chilled bold black coffee
1.5 oz Patron XO Cafe 
2.5 oz Godiva White Chocolate Liqueur 
Ice


Obviously, what you're going to need to do here, is mix all these ingredients together and enjoy this absolutely delicious dessert/ drink creation! :)

Yes Hi, May I Place An Order For Delivery?

Ahhhh take out Chinese food.  Have we ranted about this before? Oh wow, it's turns out we have.  Unsurprising.  Well, if you think I am about to do an entire post about some earth shattering, ground breaking take out Chinese food experience... I'mnot.

In fact, I'm totally going to throw you off with this post, and we're going to talk about DESSERT!  More specifically cupcakes.  Get ready all you Cupcake Wars fans; I'm about to collect a couple of friends and blow you away.

We had a friend who most recently got back from studying abroad in China for a year.  A whole entire year!  It was so long, and when he got back, we knew we had to do something special, Asian, and unforgettable for his homecoming.  So naturally, Chinese food take-out cupcakes seemed to be in order!  When he left, we prepared him a "fortune cookie cake" which was in fact exactly what it sounds like-- a cake made out of nothing but crushed up fortune cookies and paper.  Actually just a vanilla cake in the shape of a fortune cookie with awkward colored frosting that took one hour to mix into the perfect hue of "fortune-cookie yellow", with a piece of paper sticking out of it.  Cool, but more than rivaled by these bad boys.


The base was a simple vanilla cake mix, but the toppings, well, those were a different story.  There were fried rice cupcakes and fortune cookie cupcakes.  And they were awesome.  Thanks to Sherry for her dedication to this project and the idea/ book containing the idea for these cupcakes.  Thanks to Brittany for her manual labor and sticky hands while making these cupcakes.

I don't think I am going to tell you how to make these cupcakes, just because I can do that.  I'm going to let you look at them, and tell you what's in them.  They are simple boxes vanilla cake mix, spruced up with a bit of homemade buttermilk and baked like normal cupcakes typically are.  Some of the tops baked up too much, so we had to cut the tops off of some of the ones we used for the fried rice cupcakes.  The fortune cookies were made by melting soft caramel chews in the microwave for 10 seconds, rolling them out on wax paper, and using a circular mold (opening of a cut) to press a template we cut out with a knife.  Those were then folded into the shape you see there.

The fried rice was made by using a variety of candies such as halved green jellybeans (for the peas), cut and cubed orange tootsie rolls (for the carrots), pink laffy taffy (for the pork), yellow laffy taffy (for the eggs), and green laffy taffy (for the chives).  It came together using a bit if vanilla frosting, tinted with cocoa powder, which was mixed in a bowl with rice krispies and the candies.  Additional candy was added to the top for effect.  Get the book if you want to do it... otherwise, marvel over these!

Testimonials:

"Zis cupcake is a yes for me!" - Russian Guy from Cupcake Wars

Do You Have Two Hands, A Measuring Cup, and an Oven? Okay Good, Then You Can Make This.

I'm running out of things to say today.  So I'm going to make this one short and sweet.  It was a simple, plain, but delicious meal.  So I'll give you a simple, plain and delicious overview of the meal.

Chicken.

Lemon.

Orzo.

A thing of beauty.  The meal that just keeps on giving, especially when you make one pound of orzo and one pound of chicken.  This meal is so simple that it almost didn't make the blog.  But then it was SO delicious.  So it did.  When I was making it, a Realtor walked in to show my apartment, looked at me with surprise, and exclaimed, "Oh a chef!".  False.  You do not need to be a chef to make this.  You need a left and right hand, a measuring cup, and an oven that heats up to 400 degrees.  I had two of those things, yes I'll keep you wondering on what one I'm missing, so I decided to give this a try.

Let's recap.  Chicken.  Lemon. Orzo.  Amazing.

Okay then, what are waiting for?

what you need...
1 lb orzo
1 lb thin sliced chicken
4 oz feta
4 cups chicken stock
3/4 cup water
1 tbs butter
Zest of one lemon
Juice of 3/4 a lemon
1/2 - 1 cup Parmesan cheese
1 tbs dill (or to taste)
Salt and Pepper
Parsley to garnish

what you need to do...
1. Preheat oven to 400 degrees.  In a medium sauce pan, heat the chicken stock, water, and butter until it is boiling.
2. Meanwhile, while broth is heating, in a 3 quart baking dish, combine raw chicken (cut into about 1 inch strips), uncooked orzo, lemon zest, lemon juice, dill, salt, pepper, and feta.  Stir to evenly combine ingredients.
3. When it's boiling, pour chicken stock over the mixture in the baking dish, stir to combine evenly, and carefully transfer into the oven.  Allow to bake for about 35 minutes, or until the mixture is thick and creamy and the orzo is tender.  With the feta in the broth, the sauce should become thick and creamy.
4. Take out of the oven, top with Parmesan cheese, and place back in oven for an additional 5 minutes.  Serve topped with dried parsley!

My Secondo Buona Notte As A Little Italian Grandma

So today we are going to tackle an Italian dish that, because of its laborious nature, is widely avoided as a week night meal.  Being busy with school, graduate school applications, boys, and whatever else this city throws our way, my roommate and I have a hard time seeing each other.  Shocking, I know, since we live together in the worlds smallest "two bedroom" apartment.  To mend our withdrawals, we decided on date night last fall, which, just as it sounds, was us getting together once a week, going out on a date, and ending the night with a bottle of wine and a marathon of Restaurant Impossible (yes, our date night was Wednesday).  Following our binge on foodie happy hours last fall, my roommate and I recently reassessed our bank accounts, and discovered that our weekly dates will now be home cooked meals.  

So for part one of our home-cooked-meal-date-night adventure, we decided to bring in the new year with a bang and decided on [DRUM ROLL PLEASE]......

RISOTTO!

Risotto is... what's a word that means more amazing than amazing?... absolutely bomb.  It is delicious, it's kinda nutritious (depending on what kind you make), and it's a pain in the ass to make!  50 minutes of constant stirring, which, for the first 25 doesn't seem terrible.  Oh no, it's not until it triples in weight at minute 38 and the broth is soaked up at quarter speed do you find yourself asking, wait, why are we doing this again.  But no worries!  Grab a glass of that white wine you just had to open anyways, pull up a stool, and get ready to make one of the more delicious Italian dishes ever... yes EVER.  One bite and it'll all be worth it.  Ask my roommate, she'll testify, this is heavenly!

what you need...

1 1/2 cups Arborio Rice

4 cups (1 large carton) Low-Fat Low-Sodium Chicken Broth

1/2 cup white wine, room temperature

1 medium onion, diced

2 - 3 cloves fresh garlic, diced finely

5 oz sliced baby portobello mushrooms 

3 oz baby spinach

1/2 cup fresh grated Parmesan cheese

4 oz crumbled feta

3 tbs butter

Thyme

Oregano

Salt and Pepper

what you need to do...

1. In a medium sauce pan, heat chicken stock over medium high heat, bringing to a slow boil.  

2. In a large skillet with deep sides, add butter, garlic, onion. Cook over medium high heat for about three minutes, or until the butter has totally melted and the garlic and onions have become fragrant.  Add the spinach and mushrooms and cook for an additional 2 minutes.

3. Add the uncooked arborio rice and stir until all grains of rice have been incorporated with the veggies and are covered by the butter.  Cook for about one minute, stirring constantly, and then slowly pour in the white wine.  [It is important that the wine be at room temperature so that it does not hit the heat and immediately cook out].

4. Continue to cook over medium high heat, stirring constantly, until all of the wine has cooked into the rice.    Add salt, pepper, thyme and oregano and stir.  Begin adding the broth to the skillet using a ladle.  In this step it is important that you add one ladle at a time, stir, and wait to add another spoonful until the previous spoonful has been completely absorbed by the rice.  This is the tedious part, and yes, this is going to take about 40 minutes to move through that entire pot of chicken stock.  Repeat this step until absolutely all of the chicken stock has been added to the skillet and is completely absorbed by the rice.  Towards the end, it will begin to become a bit creamier and much thicker than what you started with.  If you are unsure if the rice is cooked enough, you can taste the rice.  It should be tender but still a bit tough, somewhat like al dente pasta.  

5. Remove the risotto from the heat and add the Parmesan cheese and feta cheese, stirring well to incorporate.  Because the risotto is so hot, the cheeses will melt into the mixture.  Be sure to give it a good stir for about 3 minutes so that the cheese is well blended throughout the risotto.  Top with oregano and serve with a glass of white wine and you're good to go!

Pig Two Ways-- Oink Oink!

So the other night we decided to make pork--a meal which can end in a number of disastrous or delicious ways.  For one, pork is real easy to overcook.  One second it's raw, and the next second it's dryer than the Sahara dessert.  Secondly, pork is pretty bland, that is, it specifically needs an exciting marinade or side dish to spruce it up and take it to that next level.  After making my own salad dressing last week, I decided to do a nice pork and salad.  Naturally, with that being as boring as humanly possible, I began to try to figure out SOME way to liven up this other white meat.  And that's when I remembered bacon.

I mean, what doesn't make sense about pig topped with more pig?  Why haven't I thought of this earlier.  I've seasoned pork, crusted pork, and stuffed pork.  But how have I never topped pork with bacon?!  Erroneous.  But then, pork topped with bacon just sounds kinda nasty and greasy, and like wayyyy too much pig.  So how do we spruce up our bacon topped pork you ask?  We slap some rub on there and prepare a glaze.

This was, hands down, one of the best things I have prepared.  It was SO delicious, SO comforting, and did I mention there was bacon?

what you need...
4 small and thin pork rounds
4 slices of bacon
2 pears
1/4 cup plus 1 tbs plus 1/4 cup more brown sugar (separated in those portions)
1 tbs apple cider vinegar
1 tsp Dijon mustard
1 tbs flour
2 tbs plus 1 tbs more butter (divided)
Cajun seasoning
Cinnamon
Salt
Pepper

what you need to do...
1. At least one hour before preparing the pork, rub each side of the pork with a healthy portion of Cajun seasoning, a dash of cinnamon, 1 tbs brown sugar, and a dash of salt and pepper.  Allow rub to marinate the steak in the fridge.
2. When ready to cook, preheat oven to 400 degrees.  Slice pears into  thin but long slices.  Transfer into round baking pan.  Microwave butter until melted and combine with 1/4 cup brown sugar, stirring well to incorporate.  Pour over the pears and stir to evenly coat.  Place in oven and bake for about 20 minutes, turning occasionally, or until the pears are soft enough to be cut apart easily with a spook.
3. While the pears are cooking, prepare the drizzle for the pork.  In a small sauce pan, combine apple cider vinegar, 1/4 cup brown sugar, Dijon mustard, flour, and 1 tbs butter.  Heat over medium low heat, stirring all ingredients together often to avoid burning.  This should thicken into a brownish glaze.
4. When pears are nearly finished baking (about 5 - 7 minutes left), begin cooking the pork.  Place the pork in a separate round baking dish.  Cut each piece of bacon in half and lay one piece of bacon on each pork round.  Top each pork round with 1/4 of the brown sugar glaze previously prepared and bake in oven for 5 - 7 minutes, being sure not to over cook.
5. Serve pork topped with oven roasted pears and side salad!

Ray Charles Vinaigrette

There is literally nothing I can talk about in this post.  It is so self explanatory and for the first time ever... I am at a loss for words.  I literally and most surprisingly have absolutely no stories about salad dressing.  My experiences thus far with salad dressing have been quite ordinary in fact.  I went through my immature blue cheese phase from about 7 - 9 years old.  Then I asked why the cheese was blue.  I moved into my more-mature-but-still-not-quite-there-yet French dressing phase from ages 9 - 12.  I then regressed into a even-less-mature-than-blue-cheese-dressing Ranch phase, which I blissfully enjoyed up until my last buffalo chicken wrap at age 20.  My evolving passion for cooking gave way to a marked improvement in my pallet which brings us to my current phase:  The I-no-longer-need-and-entire-cup-of-dressing-on-my-half-portioned-side-salad Vinaigrette phase.  It is in this most current phase that I have learned to enjoy some of the finer things in life-- balsamic vinaigrette, Italian dressing, and the actually impressive flavor of plain vegetables.  Fascinating.

It is this phase which also brings us to our current food adventure.  I say adventure because we are truly winging it now and getting slightly unnecessary in our decisions.  This week, mainly out of boredom due to my never-really-having-any-class schedule, lack of fitness classes at the gym, and well-founded decision not to drink wine at 1:30pm each afternoon, I decided to create my own salad dressing. Woah, fancy, I know.  I looked up what the basics were in making salad dressings, took into account the meal/ salad type I was preparing it with, and got to work.

Now let me tell you a story about a girl, whimsically making salad dressing, who hastily decides to grate an onion.  I'll skip to the ending of this unhappy tale-- I BURNED MY F[EXPLETIVE] EYES OUT.  I seriously though I had pulled a Stevie Wonder as I feverishly rinsed my eyes with nearly a gallon of water.  Needless to say, it wasn't worth it however, the grated onion surely did add a great flavor without the massive chunks of poorly chopped onion.  All in all though, not worth it.  Just chop the damned onion.

With that being said, lets drive right into it and get started on making our very own, very first, batch of salad dressing that will, from here on out, be referred to as Ray Charles Vinaigrette (or RCV for short).


what you'll need... besides goggles...
3/4 cup extra virgin olive oil
1/4 cup plus 2 tbs Apple Cider Vinegar
2 cloves fresh garlic, finely chopped
1/2 yellow onion, not grated, finely chopped
2 tbs dijon course ground mustard
1/2 - 1 tsp white granulated sugar (depending on desired sweetness)
Thyme
Basil
Cracked Sea Salt
Fresh Ground Black Pepper


I'll bet you can guess what you need to do next...
1  Combine all ingredients in a large measuring glass.  Stir together vigorously, then transfer to a storage bottle (I used an old oil dispenser) and store in the refrigerator until ready to use. 

Kimi's Crappy Reduction Meets Some Awesome Stuffed Mushrooms

My family had it's annual Yankee-Swap-Annual-Christmas-Fun-Festival last weekend.  What could be better than good people, good food, lots of drinking, and typically horrendous yankee swap gifts?  Nothing.  This year the LaSalle family affair was held at my house in New Hampshire and so naturally, I decided it necessary to go all out and add some flair to some old recipes of mine.  Baked brie would be absolutely essential, and stuffed mushrooms were a must.  But I was tired of the boring basics of wrapping a brie in Pillsbury dough (not that there's anything wrong with that) and mashing up some sausage and Italian bread crumbs to shove in mushroom caps.

After a brief chat with my uncle, followed by an extensive birthday lunch (for him), and shopping for this hideous yankee swap gift which has found it's place as a fancy new adornment to my kitchen wall...

Beatrice not only has a place on my kitchen wall, but also a permanent place in my heart.

A warm and special thanks to Tom and Santy for this most wonderful apron.

... I figured out (with the help of my uncle of course) the perfect appetizers to prepare for my family's enjoyment!

Baked Brie with a Red Currant Reduction

Sausage, Panko, Gruyere and Apple Stuffed Mushrooms

There was just one teensy weensy little problem... I had never in the entirety of my short life, made a reduction.  I had no clue where to start and needless to say, I seem to have messed it up quite terribly.  The good things:  the flavor was fantastic, it was quite fun to make, it went well with the baked brie.  The bad things: I mayyyy or may not have over-reduced it, and it mayyyyy or may not have turned rock solid.  Okay, let's do it anyways and we'll fix this little over-cooking issue while we're at it!

Baked Brie with a Red Currant Reduction 
what you need...
1 medium-large wheel brie (can have skin still on it)
1 package of Pillsbury crescent roll dough
3/4 cup Red Currant jam
~1/4 cup Merlot (just enough to cover the bottom of the pan/ jam)
1 - 2 tbs butter


what you need to do...

1  Preheat oven to 375 degrees.  In a medium sauce pan, combine red currant, butter and Merlot.  Heat over medium heat, whisking often, until mixture begins to bubble.  Reduce heat to low and continue to cook, whisking constantly, until a thick but not gooey, syrup has formed.  Remove from heat and use immediately.

Okay here's an essential tid-bit of knowledge you will need in order to succeed where I failed.  Under NO circumstances, should you decide to shower at any point during this step.  This will prove HIGHLY destructive to your reduction, and will give you bad results. Do we understand eachother?

2  On a cutting board, lay on the brie and cut or scoop (I used an ice cream scoop) a hole in the center that is only deep enough to go about half way through the brie. This is where we will stash the reduction.  Move the brie from the cutting board and roll out the crescent roll dough, squeezing together any holes.  Place the brie in the center of the dough. 
3  Pour the reduction into the hole in the center and carefully drizzle over the rest of the cheese.  Quickly fold the crescent dough around the brie so that it is completely covered, and press shut, closing any holes.  If there is extra dough on the top, either remove it or leave it and twist for decoration.  
4  Transfer onto an ungreased cookie sheet, and bake at 375 for about 15 - 20 minutes, or until dough appears golden brown and cooked through.  Remove from oven and serve very warm!

Sausage, Panko, Gryuere and Apple Stuffed Mushrooms
what you need...
1 package of whole white mushrooms (these are the basic mushrooms)
4 links sweet Italian sausage, with casing removed
2 cloves garlic, minced
2 tbs finely chopped onion
1/4 cup finely chopped apple (granny smith works best because of crispness)
4 oz grated smoked gruyere cheese
1 cup panko bread crumbs
1 egg
Olive Oil
Parmesan Cheese
Salt and Pepper


what you need to do...
1  Preheat oven to 375 degrees.
2  Cook the sausage in a pan over medium heat with a dash of olive oil until it is mostly cooked through, breaking it down with a spoon or spatula as you cook.  When sausage is cooked, cool for about 5 minutes, and transfer into a food processor.  Blend until meat is very finely grated, and almost smooth. 
3  In a large mixing bowl, combine ground sausage, chopped garlic, onion, apple, cheese, panko, egg and salt and pepper.  Using your hands, blend thoroughly until all ingredients are combined.  This mixture should turn almost doughy and easy to mold.  You may need to add more panko, or bits of olive oil to either dry it out or moisten it up to desired texture.

4  Remove the stems from the mushrooms so that just the hollowed out caps are left, and wash thoroughly.   Transfer the mixture into the mushroom caps carefully, being sure not to push too hard as they will break.  I usually allow the mixture to pile quite high on top of the mushroom too, but add as much of the mixture as you see fit.  Place in a baking pan and sprinkle Parmesan cheese over the tops.  Bake at 375 for about 30 minutes, or until the mushrooms appear dark grey and the filling appears golden brown.

Chipotle Chicken Pasta Minus the Chipotle

So years back, when I was still a freshman and sophomore, jobless, and living off of my parents money, we used to go to Cheesecake Factory.  One of my favorite dishes on their menu was the Chipotle Chicken Pasta--  penne pasta with some amazing kinda creamy spicy sauce, chicken, peppers and onions.  Naturally, you can see why I liked it.  So sometime about two years ago, when I was no longer living off my parents salary, I decided to try to make it at home.  I had no idea what was in it but knew a thing or two about flavors and decided to just wing it.  Needless to say, I put absolutely no chipotle in it.  So I'm sure you must be saying, "well then there's no possible way you've made a replica of chipotle chicken pasta that tastes anything similar to the original!"  False.  I have.  I've made a cheaper, just as yummy version while craftily avoiding the annoyance and cost of chipotle peppers.

This past time, I made a much bigger batch than I have in the past.  I wouldn't ever recommend making as much as I did, so I'm going to provide you with the recipe for a normal person amount.  This is the ultimate spicy comfort food.  Enjoy: chipotle chicken pasta, minus the chipotle, plus the pepperjack cheese!

what you need...

1 lb penne pasta

1/2 red pepper, diced

1/2 yellow pepper, diced

1/2 large yellow onion, diced

15 oz can tomato sauce (I use hunts)

8 oz block pepperjack cheese, grated

4 pieces thing sliced chicken breast (about 1/3 - 1/2 lb chicken)

Crushed red pepper

Salt and Pepper

Olive Oil for cooking

what you need to do...

1  Cook pasta as directed on box.  If you are doing this ahead of time, strain and set aside tossed with a bit of oil to prevent sticking.  Otherwise, this can be done simultaneously with the rest of the preparation.

2  In a medium sauce pan, combine yellow peppers, red peppers, and onion and cook over medium high heat until aromatic and color begins to leave peppers.  Be sure to stir the mixture often to ensure even cooking.

3  Once the peppers are done cooking, add the tomato sauce, 1 tbs crushed red pepper, and a dash of salt and pepper to the vegetable mixture and stir.  Cover to avoid splattering and allow the mixture to continue to cook over medium heat.  (note: if you do not like thing particularly spicy, adjust the crushed red pepper amounts).  When chicken is cooking during step 4, stir in 8 oz grated pepperjack cheese and reduce heat to low.  Stir constantly.  Sauce should begin to thicken as cheese melts in and will look like a creamy red sauce.

4  In a medium-large pan, heat a tbs olive oil.  Season chicken with salt and pepper and cook in oil over medium heat until cooked through.  Strain chicken on paper towel and cut into cubes on cutting board.

5  Combine all ingredients in a large pot with the pasta and stir well to evenly distribute the sauce.  Serve as is or topped with crushed red pepper, or a sprinkle of pepperjack cheese!

Deck the Halls with Bottles of Rum

It's that time of year again... That time where we all tear through our presents and then sit depressed at the fact that we have, not only 364 more days until Christmas, but also 3 more months of unbearable cold.  Somewhere around January 15th I give up and search for cheap tickets to Puerto Rico.  I do this daily for about five weeks, while intermittently scrolling through my pictures of the gorgeous beaches and crying.  Some might say this is self destructive.  No, in fact.  I see the glass as half full and instead consider this reaching towards my goal of a better future.  A future where it's 80 degrees on Christmas.  A future where I bathe in the ocean with a Medallia in hand on New Years.  A scarfless, jacketless future where adults laugh and children play carelessly.

But because this dream is highly unattainable on my current fiances and with my current educational standing.  So instead, I've decided to bring a little bit of Puerto Rico to Boston.  No, unfortunately not the warm, beautiful, sunny, beachy part, although it has been quite refreshingly not freezing thus far this year.  Instead, I decided to make the drink first introduced to me in Puerto Rico that continues to impress me with each sip.  It is by far one of the most refreshing, light drinks one could wish for.  The Mojito--it is simply seltzer, lime, sugar, mint and, of course, rum because absolutely everything in Puerto Rico (including cereal), has rum in it.

Because these were for a holiday party, I wanted to try to make them festive.  A coworker suggested adding cranberries as a garnish.  I emphasize garnish here because, despite my efforts to make this point clear to my friends, the cranberries and mint in this drink were not take as a representation of holly but instead, a salad.  So like I said, garnish.


Also, I don't really measure when I make these.  I'm going to try to provide you with measurements here but chances are yours might be a little different.  There's nothing I can do about this.  I just don't measure.

what you need...
8-10 oz Seltzer (plain, unflavored)
1/3 a lime (or less if you prefer it less limey)
~12 fresh mint leaves
1.5 oz simple syrup (I home make this but you can find this is a liquor store, also add more for sweeter)
3 oz silver rum (important that the rum is not spiced)
Whole cranberries (to garnish)
Ice

what you need to do...
1  In a tall glass, combine simple syrup, juice from lime, and mint leaves and muddle.  This is a term, for those of you who are unfamiliar, that means to use a blunt tool to firmly mash the ingredients together.  There are muddlers for this, however the back of a wooden spoon will work just fine.  Do this for about 2 minutes, or until all of the mint appears fairly bruised.  This is an important step, without it, you won't get the flavor of the mint at all.  The mint will stay in the drink as continued flavor so a straw will be helpful.
2  Add seltzer and rum and mix well.  Garnish with lime wedges and cranberries and add ice.  Play around with this a little bit.  The first time it may be a bit funky, but the more you make it the better it will taste.  You just have to figure out the perfect mixing for you!

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

The Perfect Breakfast. You're Welcome.

It has become more than apparent that there will never be a shortage of things I am able to create with kielbasa.  Quite by accident, we found ourselves with more Kielbasa than we imagined being able to conquer. Needless to say, we've nearly conquered it.  Being on our slow food kick, it seemed more than obvious that we needed to find a way to move through all that kielbasa that we already had.  But eating four links of kielbasa is indeed quite difficult if you stick to the basics.  So we thought a bit outside the box and may have stumbled upon the best, cheap breakfast humanly possible: Sunnyside Hash.  Potato, kielbasa and onion hash served under a sunny side egg with a garnish of Siracha sauce.  Potatoes are cheap.  Onions are cheap.  Eggs are manageably cheap.  And we already had kielbasa and Siracha Sauce.  So essentially this meal took a grand total of three dollars to create.

This meal will get you ready to kick any day's ass.  Hangover beware-- one plate of this and you're about to feel better than ever.  Hungry yet?  I would hope so.

what you need...
(serves two)
1 potato
1/2 link of kielbasa
1 medium onion
2 egg
Siracha sauce (optional)
Salt and pepper to taste
Oil for sauteing

what you need to do...
1  Chop the onion, potato and kielbasa.  The potato and kielbasa should be cut into similar sized cubes. 
2  Combine onion, potato, kielbasa, olive oil, salt and pepper in medium skillet and cook over medium high heat, covered.  You will need to stir constantly to avoid burning and you're going to need some help from my long lost friend patience.  Turning up the heat will not cook the potatoes through faster.  No, sadly I've learned that instead, this method will burn everything.  Then you will have burnt, hard potatoes and you're morning will be off to a rough start.  Keep the skillet covered while cooking, stir often to avoid uneven cooking, and if you notice it starting to char, do the obvious right thing and turn down the heat.  The hash will be done when the potatoes are soft enough that the spoon is able to easily cut through them.
3  When hash is about finished, prepare the eggs sunny side up.  I'm not gunna explain this.  If you don't know how to do it, you'll need to cover them and never turn them.  That's all.  If you'd prefer, once over easy will suffice.  Basically, when the yolk oozes into the hash, it's gunna be orgasmic so try to make that happen.  If you don't like you're eggs with a runny yolk, make them absolutely any way you would like.  Literally, anything will work.  We just like runny yolks here.
4  Serve egg over the hash, topped with pepper, and garnished with Siracha sauce.  Breakfast perfection.  You're welcome.

The Slowest Food You've Seen Thus Far

So it turns out that cooking fancy things costs money.  And although I pretend, it turns out that I am not actually wealthy enough to fund this exquisite blog on a daily basis.  So this week, we decided to get down to business and take the slow food challenge.

The slow food challenge is a movement we learned about at the Boston Local Food festival.  Essentially, the main idea involves trying to create nightly meals using ingredients you have on hand and fresh local ingredients for 5 dollars or less.  The idea is that you can create nutritious, fresh meals for the same price as a fast food value meal.  We said, screw fresh local ingredients (mainly because Shaw's is closer), and got to work figuring out how to feed ourselves for 5 dollars each night.

Night number one: grab a jar of Culinary Circle Sundried Tomato Alfredo Sauce, some real cheap veggies, and  throw together an impromptu pasta dish.  This turned out absolutely fantastic, despite how disorganized this adventure began.

what you need...
1 jar of Culinary Circle Sun-dried Tomato Alfredo Sauce
1/2 box of Fettuccine (cooked as directed on the box)
A big 'ole bundle of broccoli
1/2 cup cherry tomatoes, chopped
1 medium onion, chopped
Salt and Pepper
Oregano
Olive Oil

what you're gunna need to do...
1  In a medium skillet, combine broccoli, tomato and onion with olive oil.  Saute over medium high heat, stirring occasionally, for about 5 minutes.  Add the jar of tomato sauce, reduce heat to low, and allow to simmer.  Stir often to avoid burning.
2  Add the cooked pasta to the skillet and mix until the pasta is coated evenly.  Season with pepper and oregano and take it to your face.

An R-Rated Coffee Milkshake

The Espresso Martini also known as, perfection.  Imagine, if you will, a drink created only from alcohol (no mixer needed) that tastes like the best cup of iced coffee you've ever had.  Is it possible, you ask?  Oh it's possible.

I got this idea from my coworker two years ago.  My last day of work was New Years Eve day and as a going away gift, she gave me the ingredients for perfection: Bailey's, Kahlua, and Vanilla Vodka.  Two years later the love affair has still not faded.  If you like coffee, coffee ice cream and coffee milkshakes, this drink is going to make your belly very happy.  However, I must warn you-- this drink is very creamy so two more than two of these bad boys might be quite a struggle and things might real weird real fast.


what you need...
1 part Kahlua (or other coffee liquor)
1 part Bailey's (or other Irish Cream)
1 part Absolute Vanilla (or other Vanilla Vodka)
Ice

what you need to do...

My dog wanted at this real bad

1  Combine all ingredients and shake (with crushed ice might be good).  Serve very cold in a martini glass, over crushed or cubed ice.  For a more desserty option, if you will, blend with ice to make a shake.  That was easy.

One Ridiculously Absurd Post-Thanksgiving Feast

Oh did I say I was fasting?  Well, starting Monday, give me a break.  First, I needed to get my chance to create an excessive and delicious "Thanksgiving" meal.  We spent Thanksgiving at my uncle's and so, I wasn't able to celebrate with one of the people whom I am most thankful for in my life... that handsome looking Dan fellow I'm dating.

On black friday (and for some... are we going with grey thursday?) millions of dedicated [psychotic] shoppers waited in the cold for hours, trampled over other dedicated [psychotic] shoppers, and bought hundreds of gifts.  On black friday, the owners of the NBA bought back their players.  And what did I buy?  Steak.  Delicious, juicy, meaty steak.  And beer.  Delicious, juicy, wheaty beer.  Oh and vegetables.  I dreamed up a fantastic meal and invited Dan over for a post-Thanksgiving, re-comma inducing feast.

There were garlic coconut milk mashed sweet potatoes (compliments of Marci), steak tips, brussel sprouts and of course, Pillsbury crescent rolls.  And in keeping with the excessive style of Thanksgiving, there of course were crackers, cheese, dip and stuffed mushrooms to fill you up before you even made it to the dinner table.  As well as coffee and tiramisu for when you no longer wanted to consider, look at, or think about food.  Perfect.  That's one way to stay healthy...

The steak tips were from Mr. Steer meats (a specialty meat shop) and were cooked on the grill by my dad.  I prepared the mashed sweet potatoes and brussel sprouts.  And the Pillsbury dough boy made the crescent rolls-- thanks for your help you chubby little bundle of joy.  The recipe for the sweet potatoes was passed along by my nutritionist and as for the brussel sprouts, well I've never made those but decided to wing it since it can't really be that hard.

Before we start preparing these delicious things, I of course need to get in a short rant.  What grocery store on earth doesn't carry brussel sprouts?  Apparently market basket.  Fail.  So I will put my shame aside and announce to you:  I used frozen brussel sprouts.  But don't fear, I didn't throw these in some water and blandly boil them down.  No, I marinated them and roasted them.  I guess that cancels out somewhere around half of the shame using frozen brussel sprouts has brought me.  That and the fact that they came out delicious.  I rest only half ashamed, and mostcertainly ready to use frozen ones again [gasp].

what we need...
for the garlic and coconut milk mashed potatoes
3 medium to medium large sweet potatoes, skinned, quartered, and chopped into three 1/2 inch slices per each quarter 
3/4 cup of coconut milk plus 1/2 cup more
2 cloves garlic, chopped
1 tsp salt
1 tbs sugar
1 tsp black pepper
1 tsp - 1 tbs crushed red pepper (to taste)

what we need to do...
1  In a medium sauce pan, combine all ingredients except the additional 1/2 cup of milk.  The 3/4 cup of coconut milk will not cover all of the slices of sweet potato, don't panic.  Cook over medium high heat covered, for about thirty minutes, or until the potatoes have become very tender.  
2  Once the potatoes are tender, remove from heat and mash using a masher.  Add additional coconut milk as desired.  I added the entire additional 1/2 cup for creamier sweet potatoes.


what we need...
for [previously frozen, currently delicious] brussel sprouts
1 package of [frozen] brussel sprouts
3 tbs olive oil
2 cloves garlic, chopped
1/2 tsp crushed red pepper (optional)
1/4 cup onion, chopped
Salt and Pepper

what we need to do...
1  Preheat the oven to 400 degrees.  In a large gallon ziplock bag, combine the brussel sprouts, oil, salt, pepper, garlic and crushed red pepper.  Close and shake to disperse among all of the brussel sprouts.  Allow to marinate for at least 30 minutes.  
2  Displace the brussel sprouts into an 8 x 8 glass baking pan, and combine with chopped onion in pan.  Cook in the oven for 35 - 45 minutes, stirring two or three times during the cooking process to brown evenly.  Yup, that's all!

Yay for more delicious, gluttonous meals.  Because that's what Thanksgiving is truly all about...

One Ridiculously Absurd Thanksgiving Feast

This thanksgiving, we switched things up a bit and went to my uncle's house, thus totally erratically my opportunity to do any sort of cooking.  But it just so turns out that my lust for cooking might actually come from my uncle, who completely out did himself.  He prepared an absolutely delicious, and not to mention excessively large, Thanksgiving feast that for the first time in my life actually put me into a food comma. For appetizers alone we ate an entire meal.  Raw salmon with an amazing dill sauce, blue cheese tart, spinach and cream cheese rolls, and crackers and cheese.

Before we hear about and look at delicious pictures of all amazing sounding things, let's have a quick discussion about my dad and the turkey.  My dad's a fairly seasoned turkey carver, and was called in as back up when the rest of us didn't want to bother.  His technique is fantastic and he always displays the turkey in a picture perfect presentation.  This time however, he decided that throwing some of the turkey on the floor enhanced our thanksgiving, and thank goodness that he did as we had an outrageous amount of food.  But just to hassle him a bit.. let's check out my dad's floor turkey...

Oh and I guess we can look at his non-floor turkey  

Now back to the rest of the food-- if we weren't bursting at the seems after all those appetizers, we had to suck it up and move on to a deliciously seasoned turkey, a pork roast, mashed potatoes, homemade cranberry sauce, homemade stuffing, green bean casserole, roasted carrots, roasted acorn squash, roasted cauliflower, and roasted brussel sprouts.

Oh and that's not where it ends... no there was dessert.  You see, this Thanksgiving meal was indeed not for the faint of heart.  No, this was for the glutton.  So of course there was coffee and dessert.  Homemade pear and cranberry torte, apple crisp with ice cream, and pumpkin pie.

And now I'm fasting... for the next week.