My Buona Notte As A Little Italian Grandmother

So here I was... after a long day at work, I found myself coming home only to immediately accept my role as an Italian grandma.  How had I gotten myself here?  How had I committed to preparing an entire noodle-less lasagna for seven people?  Oh that's right-- I have a blog about cooking and once people know that, there's no getting out of cooking with slash for friends.  And yes, I said noodle-less lasagna.  Preposterous!  Outrageous!  How Un-Italian you might say.  False.  What you should be saying, is wow AWESOME.  Let's cut out some of the carbohydrates and the heavy sinking feeling that settles in somewhere 3/4 of the way through your slice of lasagna.

But back to my original and far more important point... there I was, like an Italian grandma, slaving away in the kitchen.  Thankfully, I have a best friend who truly understands me and showed up with a bottiglia di vino... what would I do without you Brittany King? (Die).

So before I even describe this deliciousness, let me preface by saying, do not make this if you do not have 2 hours of time to dedicate to non-stop cooking and don't have 8 very hungry bellies to fill.  Okay, I've done my part.  Now let's make some noodle-less lasagna.  Oh how do we do this?  Easy.  We don't use noodles.  Novel.  In fact, instead, we will personally chop 5 summer squashes into 1/4 inch or less slices, bread them with flour, egg and seasonings, fry them in canola oil, and layer them into a gigantic lasagna!  What could sound funner?  Nothing.

what you need...
for the sauce...
1 large can (32 oz) of plain tomato sauce [this is NOT prego, this is not hunt's meat flavored red juice, this is just plain old "tomato sauce".  We're not going to cheat here with store bought sauce but at the same time I'm not spending my life boiling down tomatoes to make sauce from super scratch!  We've got 2 hours of work ahead of us as it is...]
3 cloves fresh garlic, minced
5 fresh basil leaves, chopped
1/2 white (or red) onion, diced
1 tbs olive oil
a dash of red wine (optional)
Salt and Pepper to taste

for the fried zucchini/ summer squash...
5 healthy sized (yup, I just went there) summer squashes or zucchinis
8 Eggs
3 - 4 cups flour
1 tsp salt
2 tsp pepper
1 tbs oregano
1 tbs dried basil
1 cup grated Parmesan cheese (optional)
3 cups canola/ vegetable oil for frying


for the ricotta filling...
1 large container (32 oz) ricotta cheese
2 eggs
1 tbs dried oregano
1 tbs dried basil
1 tsp salt
Pepper to taste

2 1/2 cups shredded mozzarella cheese (for layering)

woah that's a lot of stuff... now what?
1  Prepare the sauce.  The longer the sauce simmers, the better the flavor will cook in.  To make the sauce, add garlic, oil and onion to a large pot and cook over medium high heat until onion and garlic become fragrant.  Add wine and basil and cook for another minute or so.  Add tomato sauce, salt and pepper (and any other spices you deem worthy or necessary) and stir well.  Allow sauce to cook over medium high heat until it begins bubbling.  Reduce heat to low and simmer, covered for as long as your heart desires.
2  Now that the sauce is simmering, let's make the fired zucchini, or as in this case, summer squash.  Begin by slicing the ends off of the squashes and then slicing them length wise into 1/4 inch thick or less slices.  Try your super hardest not to cut your whole fingers off or chop your kitten up by accident (this was the hardest part for me).

3  Once you've sliced up all the summer squash and assuming you still have all your fingers, it's time to coat the slices.  In a large bowl, beat the eggs until well blended and set aside.  On a large plate combine flour, salt, pepper, Parmesan cheese, oregano and basil.  To coat, dip each slice of summer squash in the flour mixture, lightly coating both sides.  Dip each side of each slice in egg, and re-coat each side with flour mixture.  Set aside for frying (or fry immediately if you have help)

4  To fry, heat canola oil over medium high heat until oil crackles loudly when water hits.  Place the slices in oil and fry, rotating often, until both sides appear dark golden brown.  Strain on paper towel and set aside.   

5  Prepare ricotta filling by combining all ingredients in a large mixing bowl.  

6  What has layers?  Onions, parfaits, and lasagnas so let's get ready to layerrrrr.  Start by spreading a tiny bit of sauce over the bottom of a 9 x 13 x 2 inch baking pan (this will act to eradicate that pesky stickage business).  Lay the fried slices of summer squash down to completely cover the sauce--they should be slightly overlapping.  Top with sauce then ricotta mixture then more sauce then mozzarella then more summer squash.  And thennnn, repeat until you've filled up your pan and finish the top with sauce, mozzarella cheese and fresh basil. 

7  Bake for around 45 minutes at 400 degrees, or until sides are slightly bubbling and top has become golden brown.  Wait for it to cool before you slice it otherwise you won't be able to get an awesome nice picture of all of the layers like this guy:

Oh and be sure to drink plenty of wine before, during and after this.  It's pretty tedious and exhausting so you'll at least need one bottle to stay well hydrated during this marathon of cooking.

And that's about all that this little Italian grandma has to say about that...